Are you a busy, exhausted and frustrated parent because you give every little bit of energy you have to your child or children and there’s absolutely zero gratitude or effort in return, and you’re feeling like you’re the one-man band or the one woman band?
I know exactly how you feel…
Good parenting advice like Love and Logic and Supernanny is leaving parents all over the globe shaking their head and wondering why their child is crying themselves to sleep at night or why they seem so self-conscious and angry…
Only a few years ago, I was running ragged from child to child to child solving all their problems one at a time.
I had made a decision that, you know, I was going to be a great parent.
I was going to read all these parenting books and learn how to be a better parent than my parents were to me.
No offense, Mom (or Dad).
It’s just that back in the 70s, parents were massively confused.
Before then good parenting was just to beat children or lock them in closets if they misbehaved.
This had just become illegal.
You couldn’t beat children anymore.
What was the next best thing?
It was to scare them with our voice. So…we started yelling at children.
If you find that you’re yelling at your children too much, forgive yourself.
It’s all part of the process that brought you here to me today…
Today, I’m raising amazing happy, cooperative, respectful kids — 90% of the time.
Obviously, they’re still young people.
They’re still figuring things out.
Sure, they feel like we’re standing in the way of their happiness sometimes but, you know, that’s all part of being a parent.
We didn’t sign up for recognition, after all — did we?
The most hurtful thing though, as a parent I believe, is when you’re tucking your child into bed at night and they cry themselves to sleep, and you don’t know why.
You know that child who has hidden anger and is a little bit shy or self-conscious, and you just scratch your head in confusion.
Like, they have everything…
We’re kind to them.
Why aren’t they just happy?
About six years ago I’d be tucking my daughter in.
She would start crying because either her teacher was mean to her, or her friends were picking on her, or her neck hurt, or her foot hurt, or it was something else…
I felt so bad for her…
At first, I would pray with her or I’d talk about God with her.
“Do you think that God created you to be unhappy?”
Inherently, she knew the answer.
She still wasn’t happy.
She didn’t know why.
I didn’t know why.
After a while, it became extremely frustrating because how many times could I tell her “You’re awesome” in words and still have her just not accept it be to the truth?
I felt so lost.
So out of control because all I wanted to do was just wrap my arms around my little baby…you know, my child.
I wanted to take away all her hurt and all her pain and all her nightmares.
But that’s not possible. Here’s why!
God, source energy, the universe, your higher power, whatever you call it uses negative energy and circumstances to create growth…to draw you closer to who you really are…
…to draw your child closer to who he or she really is.
How do you get light without dark?
How do you find happiness without unhappiness?
If your child is protected from everything, then how are they going to spiritually grow? Or become more on their own — without you?
When and if you do your own research, you’ll find that the strongest, most nutritionally dense plants on the planet are the ones that have to grow in not so great conditions…
There’s not very much rain, so they don’t get water.
There’s rocky ground the roots must grow through.
The strongest oak tree is the one that stands alone…
…the one that must endure the hot sun and the storms, not the one that’s protected from them.
What I’ve learned and how I was able to help my daughter gain confidence was that I was loving her to death.
I was killing her on a spiritual and mental level by being too good of a mom for her.
By being too aware…
By being too available…
By being too helpful…
By controlling every move that she made…
No, that was not my intention.
My intention was not to control her but to protect her as I’m sure that’s your intention also.
She would ask me for something and I did my best to do it for her or get it for her.
“Mommy, where’s my doll?”
“Oh, I’ll get her for you. I think I saw her in the laundry room.” And I would stop everything and run to get it for her feeling like I was the best mom in the world.
If I couldn’t get it or do something for her, I’d feel anxious and upset. I’d think I was a terrible mom…
I’d explain that I just couldn’t afford it or how I didn’t have the time like she could see the world as an adult, or even understand what I was talking about.
She’s not an adult.
She hasn’t had the life experience to really know what I was talking about. Right?
I was put in a position to answer yes or no.
If I really didn’t have the money to do what she wanted to do, I felt like I was the only way for her to accomplish her goals…
…so did she.
When I met Thomas and I was introduced to Creating Champions For Life, one of the first things that I recognized was one day when we were all driving in the car.
Thomas had an Angry Birds game on his phone.
Even though the kids had their own phones and access to the computer and every single TV in every single room of the house, they loved playing on Thomas’ phone.
I couldn’t figure out why until this one day.
The kids asked, “Thomas, can we play on your phone?”
Thomas responded not in a controlling way with yes or no…
“Yes” could cause resentment later if they didn’t return the favor and “No” would leave them feeling disempowered and cause a temper tantrum.
He responded with “What’s one thing you guys could do that would put a big smile on Mom’s face?”
And, although I didn’t recognize the genius of that question until later, the kids did.
They engaged in his question.
They lit up like light, little, sparkling stars in the first of the night.
They began to organize everything and put everything into a bag to take to the garbage.
They went so far as to use an Armor All cloth to wipe the seats down.
When we pulled into the driveway, I thought, “That was pretty cool. They were pretty quiet all the way here.”
They still hadn’t played on his phone and they still weren’t done cleaning the car yet when I asked them to come inside.
I thought, “What the heck did you just do to my kids?”
More than them engaging and helping me clean my truck — which felt amazing — what I saw in both of my children was a light switch turn on like they were engaged.
It was like they finally discovered they could do something to make something happen on their own — in their own lives.
Since then, I’ve learned to empower not only my daughter but all four of my children to set goals and to reach for them — whether I can get it for them or not.
Did you know that 270 million prescriptions for antidepressant or antianxiety were written last year at nearly 100 billion dollars spent on our children’s sicknesses?
Do you know that if nothing is done about it now, your children are going to go into adulthood believing that they suffer from some sort of chemical imbalance or some kind of made-up disorder?
I saw the difference in my children — like night and day — as soon as I created a new win-win environment.
I phoned Thomas and we both committed our lives to helping other families find more peace and joy and laughter and happiness with their children.
We’re dedicated to helping children around the world become healthy and responsible and focused and successful.
You can choose to make the change to peaceful, loving, laughing, fun, joy-filled parenting now or you’ll be coming back to us to make the change later when you discover that the #1 cause for teenage death is suicide…
When you discover that school gun shootings have increased by 300% in the last two decades.
When you discover that YOU have the power to help your children make the transformation from acting out with negative, exhausting, toxic, victim mentality to becoming productive, efficient, effective, solution-oriented minds.
It’s up to you, Mom or Dad!
If you want to learn more about Creating Champions For Life and these amazing life-changing strategies, please visit our website and register for a FREE Transformational Parenting Strategy Session while you can! This offer won’t last long!